Disability is a natural part of human diversity. According to the World Health Organization, more than one billion people, about 16% of the world’s population, live with some form of disability. Yet, many people still feel unsure about how to interact respectfully with individuals who have disabilities. While most people mean well, uncertainty can sometimes lead to awkward moments or unintentional offense. Learning proper disability etiquette isn’t about memorizing a list of rules; it’s about cultivating respect, empathy, and inclusion in our everyday interactions.
See the Person First
A disability is just one aspect of someone’s identity - it does not define who they are. Avoid making assumptions about someone’s abilities, interests, or personality based on their disability. Use “person-first” language when appropriate, such as “a person who uses a wheelchair” instead of “a wheelchair-bound person.” This phrasing emphasizes the individual, not the condition.
It’s also important to respect individual preferences. Some people within certain communities, such as the Deaf or autistic communities, may prefer “identity-first” language (e.g., “Deaf person,” “autistic person”) as a source of pride and belonging. When in doubt, follow the person’s lead.
Ask Before Offering Help
It’s natural to want to assist someone who appears to need help, but jumping in without asking can be intrusive or even dangerous. For example, grabbing a person’s wheelchair or taking their arm without permission can cause harm or startle them.
The simplest and most respectful approach is to ask, “Would you like any assistance?” If the person declines, honor their independence. Respecting autonomy means recognizing that people with disabilities are experts in their own needs.
Speak Directly, Not Through Others
When engaging in conversation, speak directly to the person with the disability - even if they have an interpreter, personal aide, or companion present. For example, if someone is using a sign language interpreter, maintain eye contact with the person signing, not the interpreter. This shows respect.
Respect Personal Space and Mobility Devices
Wheelchairs, canes, service animals, and other mobility aids are not just equipment -they are extensions of a person’s body and independence. Never lean on a wheelchair, pet a service animal, or handle someone’s equipment without explicit permission. Even seemingly small actions, like moving a cane or touching a guide dog, can create safety risks.
Be Mindful of Your Words
Language matters. Avoid outdated or offensive terms such as “handicapped,” “crippled,” or “confined.” Instead, use respectful terms like “person with a disability,” “person with a vision impairment,” or “wheelchair user.”
Similarly, phrases like “That’s so lame” or “You’re crazy” can unintentionally perpetuate negative stereotypes. Choosing inclusive, neutral language helps create a more welcoming environment for everyone.
Don’t Make Assumptions
Not all disabilities are visible. Someone with a chronic illness, mental health condition, or sensory impairment may not “look disabled,” but their experiences and needs are just as valid. Avoid questioning whether someone “really” needs an accommodation, such as a service animal or accessible parking space. Trust that people know what is necessary for their well-being.
Practice Patience and Active Listening
Communication styles and speeds can vary. A person with a speech impairment or someone using assistive technology may take longer to express themselves. Give them the time they need without interrupting or finishing their sentences. Patience demonstrates respect and allows for more meaningful connections.
Promote Inclusion in Everyday Spaces
Proper disability etiquette goes beyond one-on-one interactions - it also means creating inclusive environments. Whether you’re hosting an event, planning a meeting, or running a business, consider accessibility from the start. Provide clear signage, ensure ramps or elevators are available, offer materials in alternative formats, and ask participants if they need accommodation. Small actions can have a big impact on making everyone feel welcome.
Moving Toward a More Inclusive World
Practicing proper disability etiquette is not about being overly cautious or walking on eggshells. It’s about treating people with dignity and recognizing that everyone deserves equal access and respect. Mistakes may happen, and that’s okay. What matters is your willingness to listen, learn, and adapt.
When we prioritize respect, ask instead of assume, and create spaces where people of all abilities can thrive, we help build a more inclusive and compassionate society. Disability etiquette is simply good human etiquette—rooted in kindness, understanding, and the belief that every person belongs.
Thanks to Dawn Anderson, the Business Services Specialist and Certified ADA Coordinator for the North Dakota Vocational Rehabilitation Services (Minot office). Dawn is also a member of the Rocky Mountain Advisory Board.